Born outside of Seattle and raised in the midst of Portland, Baldrick only knew the life of a city dog. He learned the ways of the dog parks and how to keep his distance from the weirdos - the wayward pups who maybe ate a little too much granola, or the fluffy toy dog who let his master dye his hair bright pink (true story). He even put up with an occasional "corgi meet-up" where he had to run around in fenced areas and act social with other short-legged sausage dogs. Life was tough growing up in the city. His work of fetching balls and sticks put a lot of demand on him, and if that wasn't enough he also had to keep the cat in line and make sure she never stayed on the floor too long. Then during nap times and in the evenings he had to wait patiently in his blanket-covered crate, often while his people entertained parties (usually involving tantalizing food smells). But he was uncomplaining, wise and stoic and tolerated all these hardships with a fortitude that had to be impressed. He made a habit of never getting into trouble more than a few times a day. Never in all his wild imaginations did he ever dream that there could be a life outside the city. One where he could run around free all day and not just on weekends when his people took him hiking or to the beach.
All of that changed in December of '09. He was keen enough to know something was up when he was allowed to ride in the cab of a big yellow Penske van with his "grandparents" who let him get away with pretty much whatever he wanted. But you can only come up with so many creative things to do in that small of a space for so long, and the four days spent driving got a little tedious. Life took a crazy turn when the whole caravan arrived at Baldrick's new domain...in the country. It's true, he doesn't get to spend as much time hovering under Margaret's high chair scarfing down falling bits of food. But one can excuse this when there's cows to chase (until they chase you back....then it's okay just to keep an eye on them and bark if they get out of line), horses to steal grain from, squirrels to keep up trees, barn cats to chase (unless someone's looking), and so many interesting and gross things to eat that you even get kind of tired of doing that all day. It's beyond a city dog's comprehension.
Sometimes it can all get a little over-stimulating so it's a good thing Athos stays on guard at night on the front porch so Baldrick can get his beauty sleep in the mud room. All Baldrick can say is: Thank God, I'm a country dog.
Well, life on the farm is kinda laid back
Ain't much an old country dog like me can't hack
It's early to rise, early in the sack
Thank God I'm a country dog
Well a simple kinda life never did me no harm
A guardin' the family and roamin' round the farm
My days are all filled with an easy country charm
Thank God I'm a country dog
When the work's all done and the sun's settin' low
I pull out my chew bone from where I had it stowed
The kids are asleep so I keep my bark down low
Thank God I'm a country dog....
- John Denver, adapted by Baldrick Dodson